My Shitty Life!

poop emojiWhen you read the title of this post you might think that I feel life is not going well.  On the contrary, my life is literally full of shitty moments because I am a mother of three children under 5.  Let me explain further, we are a family of 5 and I wipe the asses of 4 of the 5 people that live here on a daily basis (this includes my ass).  My oldest son and my daughter are both potty trained thank goodness, but they have not mastered the art of wiping their assess.  I am constantly asking them if they went poopy so I can go and check if they did a good job wiping.

My son had become really good at leaning himself up which makes sense because he is older.  He is also the kind of kid that has never liked getting his hand dirty.  One day several months ago I noticed something on the walls next to the toilet.  I had no idea what it was, I just wiped it off and kept living my life. Then my father came home from picking up my son and told me that his teacher caught him wiping poop on the bathroom walls.  WTF!!! of all the things my kid could be doing he is wiping shit on the walls.  That is when it hit me the stuff on the walls I had wiped off the week before was poop.  knowing my son he got poop on his fingers while wiping his ass and wiped it off on the wall, so I asked him that is exactly what happened.  The next day I went to his school and explained to his teacher why he put poop on the walls, that was a strange conversation.

Sofia is a different story.  When she was really little she use to poop in the tub all the time, you had to watch her.  Now that she is potty trained the main issues are wiping and getting to the toilet in time.  Sometimes she gets so caught up in playing that she doesn’t make it to the bathroom.  Last month this happened, she waited too long and she not only pooped on herself, she left a trail going to the bathroom because she had on no panties.  The poop just fell out of her shorts, I ended up stepping in it and it got everywhere.

Rafael is still a baby so I’m just changing diapers for the next year or so, that can’t be helped.  I can’t wait until all of my children are capable of wiping their own assess, and I only have to worry about wiping my own ass.

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